Monday, October 11, 2010

The Waiting

We are waiting. We are waiting to be assigned a court date so we can travel to Ethiopia to meet our son and go to a court hearing in which we will adopt him. Then we have to leave him behind, come home and wait some more. We'll be waiting to be assigned an embassy date at which time we will travel to Ethiopia again and, thankfully, bring him home with us.
The waiting is hard. Really hard. I KNOW the timing of this ENTIRE process is in God's loving and perfect hands. I KNOW this time of waiting was planned before time began by the One who made us, knows us, and has our best in mind- even when we can't understand it. Yet it's still hard. Painful. I just can't help but think of my little boy over there, a world away. I want him with us, not waiting for us. Right now I don't know if he knows that there's a daddy and mommy and a big brother and four sisters waiting for him, talking about him, praying for him everyday. He doesn't know that we're working on getting a room ready for him. That his mommy knitted an Ethiopian flag lovey for him. That his mommy and big brother are going to make him a fleece blanket next week. That we bought him a really cuddly blue corduroy teddy bear to welcome him. That he's already got two pajamas that will match his big brothers'. He doesn't know. He doesn't know how much we already love him. And that we are so excited to get to know him, to teach him English, to read together, to teach him about America. And most of all that we can't wait to tell him about Jesus and what it means to be a part of the family of God. Lord, be with him, bless him, and keep him. Tears roll down my cheeks as I sit here feeling so helpless to do anything to get him here sooner. When we started this process I knew that waiting for a referral would be hard. Then it wasn't because it only took EIGHTEEN days. This waiting- this is hard. Knowing WHO has been chosen for our family, but not being able to get to him. He is more than the black and white picture taped to my kitchen cabinet. He is a little person who has suffered loss in his short life and who needs his family. Let it be soon.


shannon, mom, wife, blogger said...

i remember this waiting...i was never able to explain in a way that others could understand just how hard it was. be brave. be busy. be faithful. the day is coming that he will come home...and when he does, all the pain of waiting turns to the joy of memory making.
matt and i will keep praying for you and your little man too.

Janet said...

Waiting=not fun. But God will bring your baby home when it is time. You will look back on it one day and it won't be as bad. But right in God. And know that you have blog friends who are praying for you. :-)