Monday, January 24, 2011

Soon

The day is quickly approaching when I will get on a plane and fly far away. Leaving my five precious babies behind, I will meet a little boy I did not have the joy of knowing as a baby, but who will hopefully join the whole brood soon in calling me mama. Why mama? And where did that even come from? They aren't babies anymore after all. And I never said, "call me mama." They just do. But it works and so I look forward to hearing that from him too. I look forward to being that for him. For this boy with the huge and smiling eyes who has known such great loss in his almost five years.
I lost my adventurous spirit when I started having these babies. So this getting on a plane and flying to the other side of the planet (twice!) is not exactly my first choice of fun. And, while some people find great purpose in exploring the world, I find great purpose- and joy- in staying put right here in my own little world. This house. The man who goes to work each day to pay for this house and the children who fill it with all manner of mess and mayhem- they are my world. So leaving it (except for the man, I'll take him along) is going to be excruciating. My heart hurts at the thought of leaving my Peter, my Kate, my Maddie, my Ella, my Charlotte. My dear babies, I have to go get your brother. It's not for me. It's not to fulfull some wild dream to see the world or do a good deed or become part of a club. It's for him. It's for our family. It's for our God who said that we must care for the orphan. Our God who filled our hearts with such gratitude that He made each of you, me, your daddy, HIS children- we need to draw more in to the family of God. We need to tell the world about Jesus and this is a way to do that. And this is a way to continue to show that children are a blessing, a reward.

5 comments:

LVF said...

Amen.

Charity said...

Praying that God will show Himself to you more and more on this journey. We see His love reflected in you and your family!

Mandie M. said...

SOOOON :) :) I can't wait to finally meet you and our sons!! Time is flying!

brookebrownell said...

i'm having a ner-bous breakdown with you!!!
oh- and emma wrote kate a letter... i promise i'll send it- i DO have stamps

shannon, mom, wife, blogger said...

'The man who goes to work each day to pay for this house and the children who fill it with all manner of mess and mayhem- they are my world. '
just beautiful... :)