Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Five and a half months...

....is how long we've known about our little man in Africa. We've waited and waited for our court date. The wait is almost over. Tomorrow we get on that plane to fly to meet him. In two days we will meet our new son. In five days we will officially be his parents. And then we will have to say good bye to him until the US Embassy issues his visa and we are cleared to travel there again to bring him home with us.

I am so excited.

And I am so sad. I spend nearly every waking hour with five little people that I can hardly stand a day away from- how am I going to handle seven? I've held my emotions in check (squashed them down deep) for awhile now. Then last night I packed my suitcase and this all became so much more real. And I cried. And I cried. And if I hadn't taken that benadryl to see how it affected me so I can use it on the plane to block out one of my least favorite things to do, I would have cried some more. Child birth is excruciatingly painful. This is more painful to me. As I laid in bed crying last night I thought, "nevermind- i don't want to do this. forget it. i take it all back. i just want to stay here." Yet, I must go. This is what God has called us to do. And so tomorrow I will leap. I am trusting the One who hides me in the shelter of His wings. I am praying for UNFLINCHING faith. I want to not worry or doubt His goodness to me. For He is good and perfect and all my days- and all my children's days- are His.

4 comments:

mary said...

Will be praying for you as you get on that plane, Rachel! God will give you strength to get through your anxiety about flying, and He will honor your obedience to Him!!! Trust Him and ENJOY this amazing trip!!!

Mandie M. said...

Amen! I am awake, and I definitely didn't sleep much last night! Hopefully that means I will on the plane! We have a short layover where we will be meeting up with you, so don't be surprised if we are there only about 45 min before the flight! See you sooon!!

Sara said...

Brian and I are praying for you and Pete as you travel, and we are praying for strength and comfort as the adoption process continues.
Sara Sluiter

Charity said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you! God has called you to this journey, and you will be blessed because of it! Praying that your flights will be smooth and that God will calm your fears.

Love to you, my friend.

"'Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!' The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah" Psalm 46:10-11